Throughout our lives, we are constantly making requests and asking for favors. We ask a significant other for assistance. We ask a child for simple tasks. We request work products of co-workers. Have you ever found that that the recipient of your request is, at times, reluctant? Or sometimes the person may agree then not follow through? Perhaps you are making a simple statement like "Clean your room." OR “Carry that to the car” OR "I need you to create a report for ..." This
Have you ever been in a meeting where you offer an idea and someone else responds with a comment like, "No, that's wrong." or "I would argue that point."? How did that make you feel? Embarrassed, judged, defeated? You may have shut-down, decided not to contribute anymore for fear of being attacked. Or perhaps you were the person who "shot down" a contributor, not realizing the effect you had on her/him. When this happens, the desired outcome of the meeting is rarely achie
We are all human, right? So let's face it, we all make mistakes. Most times we are so embarrassed we want to sweep them under the carpet - but they always come back to haunt us. Owning up to those mistakes and taking responsibility is as pleasant as a sharp stick to the eye. As difficult as it is to apologize, why is it that sometimes our apology is not accepted or does not help diffuse the situation? It may be because we are not completing the full apology and the person is
"Can you..." and "Will you..." are the same, aren't they? Not really. "Can" is associated with capability, while "will" is associated with a choice. Using the right word in the correct situation may mean the difference between harmony and defensiveness. When do you use one over the other? Many times we tend to start a request with "Can you..." For example, "Can you drive me to the store?", "Can you take out the trash?" While asking in this way seems normal to us, it may
We hear it all the time, "I have some constructive criticism for you." But how can "constructive criticism" be helpful? If you look up the definitions of those two words, they contain explanations such as: constructive = to build up; criticism = disapproval of faults or mistakes. How can someone build up and tear down at the same time? And don't most of us focus on the term "criticism" versus the "constructive", which in turn puts up an automatic wall of defense? In my pra